I am so bad at waiting for things.
Process, process.
Time telescopes
(contrarily to my preferences)
and I have to just sit and wait
with my glove on
and my hand up
and that fly ball
on its way down (slow-motionless)
and I don't even know what I'll do once I catch it.


Feels like I'm just hanging on
til eventually.
But the view is kind of nice.

Stop This Train

It's a John Mayer song that I haven't been able to stop listening to.
Makes me think about life, and the way it keeps going, even when I think it shouldn't, and how most people hit a point where they realize how fast it goes, and it scares the bejeepers out of them, and then they try all kinds of silly things (like philosophy) to see if they can trick life into doing what they want it to, and this goes on until they hit another point where they realize that it isn't gonna work, and even if you don't like it, life keeps going, and as disappointing and even as disillusioning as that can be, in a way it's also really comforting, because in a weird way it levels the playing field, because it goes by for everyone, which means that all we can do with it that's any good at all is giving it away.
Plus it makes me think of all the people I love who've finished, and how much I miss them, and the One I miss most, and how I'm getting closer to that, too.

Once in a while, when it's good, it'll feel like it should
And they're all still around, and you're still safe and sound
And you don't miss a thing
Til you cry when you're driving away in the dark
Singing
Stop this train
I want to get off and go home again