I changed the title of my blog...it probably won't last the summer. But I wanted to change it. Don't know why.
My best friend is a married woman as of Saturday. Everything was beautiful. Despite the cough/cold that's been plaguing me, I sang well on the song for the ceremony, and the piano guy covered my screw-ups on the first dance song.
Even if I'd completely blown it, though, it wouldn't have mattered.
Because she's married.
Forever.
And the look on Jason's face when he went to take her hand from her dad's and lead her up the altar made my diaphragm lurch a little.
It was a forever look.
Forever changes things.
I feel funny.
I'm back in T-town for a week before heading to CT. Another change. I don't know what this summer will bring. I don't like not knowing.
I really don't like not knowing...
Something shifts when what you thought was an illusion presents itself as fact. And when faced with the unexpected, I tend to panic. People do dumb things when they panic. By people I mean me.
So I have to just keep reminding myself to breathe. So far, I haven't asphyxiated, which is a good sign. Everything is new; nothing looks the way it did in December. I got a new prescription, I guess, and now I have to adjust to it, but that generally comes with some stumbling. And who knows what the summer holds.
You know, Lord, don't you?
Well, any time You feel like filling me in on that one...I'll be here.
