Monday, August 09, 2010
Saturday, August 07, 2010
The Girls
I used to do a lot of writing like this and I never saved any of it, but this I will post, for no other reason than that it is written.
I read lines written by a friend and one of them was this:
"There are girls to be had in either direction, too, by the way. Nobody does anything for 'the girls' because they're everywhere. Really everywhere."
and as I read it I could feel myself shrinking down and dividing, spreading out everywhere, thinner and thinner; I am "the girls" now, I am one of "the girls," and I am everywhere? I am to be had? on either side? Sides do not matter anymore but they did once. I never did, because I am the girls and am to be had everywhere, on every side. Or perhaps I am like the directions you take, used-to-matter but now indistinguishable. I do not distinguish between them. I do not even know they exist, I am the girls, and I am not to be done for because there are so many of me.
And these lines are taken out of context, and they are not the whole, they are not the point, but the girls will never know the point. what point? girls in every direction, in either direction, and either and every combine to form everywhere, which is where I (the girls) am, standing around, universal. taking it all in and giving nothing back, because noone will do anything for me anymore anyway, there is so much of me to go around. I am to be had.
I read lines written by a friend and one of them was this:
"There are girls to be had in either direction, too, by the way. Nobody does anything for 'the girls' because they're everywhere. Really everywhere."
and as I read it I could feel myself shrinking down and dividing, spreading out everywhere, thinner and thinner; I am "the girls" now, I am one of "the girls," and I am everywhere? I am to be had? on either side? Sides do not matter anymore but they did once. I never did, because I am the girls and am to be had everywhere, on every side. Or perhaps I am like the directions you take, used-to-matter but now indistinguishable. I do not distinguish between them. I do not even know they exist, I am the girls, and I am not to be done for because there are so many of me.
And these lines are taken out of context, and they are not the whole, they are not the point, but the girls will never know the point. what point? girls in every direction, in either direction, and either and every combine to form everywhere, which is where I (the girls) am, standing around, universal. taking it all in and giving nothing back, because noone will do anything for me anymore anyway, there is so much of me to go around. I am to be had.
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
P.M.
Post-mortem, perhaps?
So it didn't go as I'd hoped. I unpacked from my weekend away and tidied my room, hied me to a coffeeshop and commenced work--only to waste an hour on a wild-goose chase after an extremely necessary component of said work. It's hard to compose a syllabus and schedule without a textbook.
It frustrated me more than it should have, and I was off for the rest of the day. Unfocused. Not good. I got some reading done for orientation, and did some planning of my future days, but nothing helped more than cooking dinner with Vic and eating mango sorbet while watching The Young Victoria. All men are now ruined for me because I will always compare them to Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg. Alas?
Anyway, yes, good film. I love the Victorians.
And tomorrow I enter another round of babysitting. And soon, soon I will be back in the whirlwind of school things and I think if I put a few more long days into it everything will get done okay and on time.
I think.
Tomorrow is another day (two minutes away)--and no mistakes in it yet. Thank you, Anne Shirley.
So it didn't go as I'd hoped. I unpacked from my weekend away and tidied my room, hied me to a coffeeshop and commenced work--only to waste an hour on a wild-goose chase after an extremely necessary component of said work. It's hard to compose a syllabus and schedule without a textbook.
It frustrated me more than it should have, and I was off for the rest of the day. Unfocused. Not good. I got some reading done for orientation, and did some planning of my future days, but nothing helped more than cooking dinner with Vic and eating mango sorbet while watching The Young Victoria. All men are now ruined for me because I will always compare them to Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg. Alas?
Anyway, yes, good film. I love the Victorians.
And tomorrow I enter another round of babysitting. And soon, soon I will be back in the whirlwind of school things and I think if I put a few more long days into it everything will get done okay and on time.
I think.
Tomorrow is another day (two minutes away)--and no mistakes in it yet. Thank you, Anne Shirley.
Monday, August 02, 2010
A.M.
I am about to go start having a responsible day.
(at 9.47. aka the Crack of Dawn!)
I will write again later, to see how I did.
Over and out.
(Unrelated note: I need to learn to take criticism better. Or, you know, at all.)
(at 9.47. aka the Crack of Dawn!)
I will write again later, to see how I did.
Over and out.
(Unrelated note: I need to learn to take criticism better. Or, you know, at all.)
Summer's almost gone.
I speak not of summer, the season as defined by Earth's axial juxtapositioning with the Sun, but rather of the superimposed artificial strictures of education's demands. The school year, for me, begins in a scant few weeks, and the Things I Need To Do for the year are yet undone. I have postponed doing them, not through sheer Laziness, but rather through Not Knowing How. But now, as it often happens, they must be done, somehow, whether I think I can or not. And so, I will commence doing them...tomorrow. today was a long ten-or-so hours in the car on the way back from Minnesota.
And a wonderful drive it was, too, though I learned a valuable lesson: ridiculous Justin Timberlake music can only be truly appreciated in the proper mixes of companions. Today was a more respectable, less ridiculous Nickel Creek drive. Which is just as well.
Wedding #4, the final wedding of July, is now crossed off my imaginary calendar. The bride at this wedding is Greek Orthodox, and it was fascinating to get to observe their tradition. Added to this was the benefit of sitting with an old family friend and church member at the reception, and having one of those rare conversations with him about our traditions and faiths.
O weddings! more of you loom on my horizon, and though I love you, I welcome the break from the every-weekend schedule I've been keeping.
I'm wiped out from driving all day. To bed I go.
P.S. If you heard anything strange Saturday, or noticed it getting kind of chilly around the Underworld, it was probably just Hell freezing over--I now have unlimited texting. Kuh-razy.
I speak not of summer, the season as defined by Earth's axial juxtapositioning with the Sun, but rather of the superimposed artificial strictures of education's demands. The school year, for me, begins in a scant few weeks, and the Things I Need To Do for the year are yet undone. I have postponed doing them, not through sheer Laziness, but rather through Not Knowing How. But now, as it often happens, they must be done, somehow, whether I think I can or not. And so, I will commence doing them...tomorrow. today was a long ten-or-so hours in the car on the way back from Minnesota.
And a wonderful drive it was, too, though I learned a valuable lesson: ridiculous Justin Timberlake music can only be truly appreciated in the proper mixes of companions. Today was a more respectable, less ridiculous Nickel Creek drive. Which is just as well.
Wedding #4, the final wedding of July, is now crossed off my imaginary calendar. The bride at this wedding is Greek Orthodox, and it was fascinating to get to observe their tradition. Added to this was the benefit of sitting with an old family friend and church member at the reception, and having one of those rare conversations with him about our traditions and faiths.
O weddings! more of you loom on my horizon, and though I love you, I welcome the break from the every-weekend schedule I've been keeping.
I'm wiped out from driving all day. To bed I go.
P.S. If you heard anything strange Saturday, or noticed it getting kind of chilly around the Underworld, it was probably just Hell freezing over--I now have unlimited texting. Kuh-razy.
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