Series Finale

And OH HOLY COW here it is.

The Last Week. Of School. For me maybe ever.

What comes NEXT, I ask you?

(You are probably not the one[s] to ask.)

Well here are some Ideas I've had:

The only idea I have is to make enough money to pay my loans. Foresight!

I would like to stop and consider the view from where I am right now, because in a week I will not any longer have the same one.

Life is whizzing right along. A summer of weddings approaches (no one is surprised) and also of job applications and hopefully interviews and acceptances, et cetera.

I feel sometimes the same way I feel when I'm playing soccer. I'm best on defense. When I play forward I can't figure out where I should be looking. Behind me to see an oncoming pass? Ahead to make sure I'm not offsides? At the ball so that I know where I should be going? All trying to figure this out while running. I can never get it right. When the ball does come my way I'm inevitably looking the wrong way or I can't figure out what to do with it before I run out of time or room.

That's a bit incoherent, but it's how I've been feeling about life. I can't keep my eyes on the ball and on the rest of the field at the same time. I can't figure out how to live in the present and how to effectively consider the future.

At least I haven't learned how yet.

This summer might help, somehow. I'm choosing to think it will.

I get more done when I leave the apartment.

I am having such a productive day. I almost have a whole paper written before 3.30 in the afternoon that I hadn't thought about writing until I began it at 11 am.

This has also been a fundamentally unsettling day: I drank coffee and enjoyed it. After my run this morning (I hydrated with water and Gatorade post-run, and the Gatorade was awful because I brushed my teeth right before my run, but I drank it anyway) I went to Nord's. At Nord's I told the guy three things: I needed caffeine, I wanted something cold, and I wasn't a big coffee fan. He proceeded to make me an iced cold brew something or other that I poured skim milk into and drank with a growing sense of disbelief. Apparently the cold-brew process (which takes eleven hours [ridiculous]) makes the final product less acidic and bitter. It still tasted like coffee, but it was...palatable. A first for me. Normally I only like coffee in two forms: 1. ice cream 2. Seattle's Best Peppermint Mocha Trio (hot minty chocolate with just a smidge of coffee flavor).

He suggested it and I agreed because that's what I do; I agree to things. But I enjoyed it. I still don't know what to think. Am I going to like coffee? Even if I do, I refuse to become addicted. I just won't. I've lasted this long.

(The other unsettling thing about this was the effect that coffee tends to have on my withinsides. Blerg.)

Back to paper-ing. Let's see if I can finish it by 4?

Unsurprising

I can't stop listening to boyzIImen.