I don't want it to, so when I'm done with this, I'm getting out. When I'm done. It's not as easy as it sounds--I have only a few weeks left and I can't see my way past them. But we've been over that.
What am I going to do when I don't have school as an excuse anymore? I'm serving my Tulsa church, and I love that I can do that. I'm trying to the best of my poor ability to be available to friends in need, but I'm inadequate, and I know that. Meanwhile I throw the last few minutes of my day towards Christ and I think it's the best I can do, because I'm just so busy. My busyness, examined, yields a different record of the day, the remains of which are idled (idoled) elsewhere; the between-times of tasks that I never quite seem to accomplish.
I've found my need for grace to be overwhelmingly more than I once assumed. I've found His willingness to cover me to be beyond the limits of my presumptions. And I've taken advantage of that.
Where's the line between rejoicing in the ever-presence of Grace, and abusing it? Between security and complacency?
I've spent years and years in school and now, emerging, I'm confronted with my own staggering ignorance.
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