Monday, January 30, 2006

Soooo...
I have a lot of ideas. I hope I can get some of them into this post in a semi-coherent fashion.

Random Point One: I've been thinking a lot about Grace lately. I heard it defined on Sunday as "unmerited favor." Which is good, but I don't like how short that definition is. It's too cut-and-dry to encompass something as enormous as Grace. Specifically God's Grace, which is the kind I've been thinking about.
Grace is like finding out that my Phil O'Sci paper isn't due on Tuesday (tomorrow) as I thought it was. Grace is like finding the ability to keep jogging for a lap rather than switching to a walk like your muscles are screaming at you to do. I imagine Grace as a blanket. A fleece throw blanket that your mom puts on you when you get a cold from going outside when she told you not to.
I've had a lot of colds lately.
Random point two: This relates to grace in a way, but because I'm too lazy to construct good transition paragraphs, I wussed out and am reverting to the "Random point" system. God doesn't wait for me to be perfect before He uses me. He isn't tapping His foot, waiting for me to get to the next level of spiritual maturity before He can work through my life. He hasn't called me to make myself perfect. In fact, I've tried it. I told God to wait while I cleaned the blood off my hands before I could do CPR on my soul. And He did. He waited for me to realize that I couldn't get the blood off. That my soul was past my power to resuscitate.
That's not an easy thing to realize. And I don't know for sure, but it can't be easy for Him to wait for me, but He does. That's Grace.
God works with people where they are. That includes me. Sometimes that's the hardest part of grace to swallow. That it includes me. I can feel it for other people. I can long to show someone that God can use them, forgive them, love them, but it's hard for me to accept for myself. This is called Pride. It's a more dangerous form of Pride because I feel so humble. So deliciously low. So abased. As if that's what God wants-- for us to recognize our awfulness and perpetually wallow in it.
Um, yeah...that's not what He wants.

I have a lot more to say, but it is occurring to me that I should save the rest for other posts. Then I will have lots of material simmering and my blog shall not be an hungered.

4 comments:

Megan said...

You should listen to U2's song "Grace". It is one of the most beautiful portraits of who Grace is and what she does.

Unknown said...

Good stuff. The metaphor about blood on our hands and resuscitating our souls...

We are too small and selfish ourselves to ever really understand God. Even in our clearest moments, we are on the brink of forgetting everything we know about Him. Like being the kid on the swingset, releasing the chains, fingers skimming the blue...and then the dirt.

(I got a tricky word verification this time. It was 8 letters long: 3 b's with an o hiding in the middle. Apparently I got it wrong)

Hilary said...

Grace is like getting an A on a test you didn't study for: unmerited.

Unknown said...

Except that on a test, getting the A inspires us to furture laziness. God's grace is overwhelming; it leads us to contrition and change.