:)

EDIT: I think some of the comments aren't showing up...post again, if ye be so inclined. :EDIT

Cheating again. No, not really, I'm just posting this on Xanga, too, because I want more than five people to read it. Also I felt a twinge of guilt, for my blogspot of late has been the site of sub-par postage. And if you are among the privileged few who read both my blog and my xanga, comment here, if you have anything to say.

I smile a secret smile.
Nobody in the blog world knows the immensely wonderful, substantial things that God has been doing in my innards. And nobody CAN know.
I have been trying to post this in my head for almost a week now, and I realize--I can't. I cannot describe or explain the deep-down peace that is sitting in my gut. I cannot tell you how much I love Him, and how and what and why. It is frustrating, on one level, for I do want so badly to be able to share this contented insatiable hunger. I wish I could articulate it. I want to have the ability to write a song about it. Or a poem. Heck, even a decent essay. But I am not capable of penning such a verse. I am too feeble. I can't even talk about it. No sooner do I begin than does a goofy smile conquer my face and my mind goes deliciously blank and only garbled gibberish comes out: "So...yeah...Jesus is so amazing...He, like, loves me, and...stuff...yeah...it's pretty sweet..." Frustrating.
But on another level, I am happy. Part of me is glad to be able to just keep this inside, keep it to take out every day and ponder, and explore, and think about, and rejoice in. Because there is so much. The vastness of His work in me contributes to my inability to communicate on the topic. It's too big for me to grasp in casual conversation. It's too precious to try to grasp in casual conversation. I don't really want to demean it to casual conversation. So what's with the dearth of meaningful conversation around here, people?
Anyway. I love being able to hold on to Him. I love dwelling in His peace.
I love the absence of fear. I love that He isn't just working on me anymore, He's working through me.
I
Love
Him.
And so I smile.